On my heart: speaking life into children

I just want him to know I will ALWAYS have his back.

While I don’t personally subscribe to any one parenting technique, something that has been on my heart lately is the need for all parents to speak life into your child.

If you’re not a parent but heavily involved in a child’s life, this message is equally important for you too.

I full-heartedly believe that our voice becomes the voice of our children. If we tell them that they’re brave, they’re kind, they’re hardworking, they’re helpful and thoughtful, they stand up for others, they do their best… They absolutely will be all of those things because that will be the voice in their heads now and as adults. Contrarily, if you tell children that they’re mean, they’re liars, they’re dumb, they’re in the way, they’re annoying, they’re “too much,” etc., they will grow up thinking low of themselves and unfortunately they will live up to the words you’ve put into their heads as their own negative inner voice.

As a mom who’s living through the toddler phase of life that is all kinds of chaotic and downright challenging at various points most days, something I constantly try to remind myself of — especially during the melt downs and BIG angry/frustrated/upset emotions — is how vitally important it is that I help my kid learn to trust and listen to himself — because I’m consistently “speaking life” into him — and also know that if ever there’s a storm he can’t weather (or simply just wants a helping hand through) he can always count on me to be the calm in his life who believes in him.

Side-note: Outside of just speaking positive words to our kids about them, I also think that telling your child how much you love them, how proud to be their parent you are, how excited you are to see them, how much you missed them (and of course acting in a way that is in alignment with those sweet words) is also so soul-building for our babies. I know some people like to argue that this is just a “mom” thing, but I couldn’t disagree more. Being a parent who works to nurture, understand, support, and build a self-assured child who knows just how loved he or she is, is not simply a motherly thing to do… though, that is absolutely the definition of what I hope to achieve as a mother. 

I hope in reading this you’re reminded of how you want to parent (sometimes it is hard to parent differently than you might have been raised but if you chose a different path… stick to it!), or maybe you got another perspective worth considering. Either way, I just know that every child deserves to feel like his or her parent(s) is their safe space and parents should be the people who lift them up (literally and figuratively.) There’s enough sh*t in this world, enough hate and scary things… we don’t need to prepare our kids for that by toughening them up and showing them how rough it can be, we need to build them to be the loving, courageous, brave, thoughtful humans who have the inner dialogue to KNOW they can get through it AND make this world a better place. 🙂

Sending love to all the people out there shaping little one’s lives. It is a hard, heavy, beautiful, messy, challenging, wonderful task. XO

1 Comment

  1. February 4, 2024 / 10:44 am

    I agree with everything you’ve said in your post; it’s clear that they’re all very persuasive and will work. Nevertheless, the posts are too short for newcomers; could you maybe make them a little longer the next time? I’m grateful for the post.

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